Time Machine

You have one

Clouds by the Author

I have a time machine! And so do you … but it may be hidden.

Before I help you find it, let’s consider our marvelous minds. They’re mysterious and yet seem so simple. They easily make decisions and move our bodies with little or no conscious thought. They choose our daily outfits and menus. They drive our cars. (Have you ever driven home on “autopilot” and then realized you meant to stop by the store?) They give us the words and body language to ease bureaucratic transactions with disinterested government clerks — or not, depending on our mood.

During my daily meditation and prayers, I notice my mind wandering. I don’t try to control it, I just notice and marvel at where it goes in time and space. It often goes to my office, where projects and emails await. I gently bring it back to the present and soon the process repeats.

My mind imagines future problems and relives past events. It feels anxiety for things that may never happen and regret for things I can never undo. I notice my mind is unbounded by space and time and can go anywhere, to any time past or future.

That brings us to the time machine. When my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer for which pain relief was her only treatment, I grieved when I was alone so I could be present with her. But I couldn’t stop my mind from racing ahead to the day I knew was coming when we’d no longer be together. And then I had an epiphany and realized I could use my mind as a time machine!

Not as you might think. Not to relive our years-long honeymoon with its joy and wonder of getting to know each other. No, I let it go to a future without my wife. I allowed my mind to imagine what it would be like. I felt the intense grief and loneliness — but didn’t dwell there. I didn’t need to, I only needed to dip my toes into that sea of pain and sorrow.

I then traveled back to the present and felt a deep appreciation for the gift of another day with my beloved wife, as if I had traveled back in time to be with her. I was there, in that moment, from the future and no longer felt adrift or angry or sad. Instead, I felt gratitude. And it was real, I was with her and she with me. And that moment, two years later, is still present with me as if it were today I had traveled back in time to be with her.

This form of time travel is available to you, and you don’t have to build anything or wait for such a dire situation to use it.

Imagine you’re on an island, a pristine beach with beautiful water, blue skies and the perfect temperature. It’s an idyllic escape from your hectic life with no demands and no problems. But a few days into your vacation, your mind inevitably will get bored with this constant paradise. That’s just how the mind works, it gets bored and begins to notice the sand is a bit too sandy, the wind a little too gusty and the sun slightly too hot. Even if just a little, your mind begins to want something different, something new.

When you start to feel bored, consciously fast forward to when you’re back at work, or in traffic, or arguing with your family. Feel yourself in that future time. When you’re fully there, feeling tension and pressure, travel back to the present and see if it doesn’t feel a bit more fresh and new. (It helps as you travel back to take a deep breath and release it slowly.)

You can even try time travel when you’re having an ordinary day with your family. You can gain a new appreciation for that moment if you look at it from a future perspective when it’s gone.

To paraphrase Joni Mitchell, you don’t have to wait ‘till it’s gone to know what you’ve got.